I'm back with another book review! I read this entire book yesterday. This is Andie Mitchell's memoir about being overweight and how she conquered her food addiction. Andie, like so many others, used food as a comfort and coping mechanism. After an eye-opening moment, she started the process of changing her life. However, it took her swinging the other way in her relationship with food before she realized the emotional/mental connection. She worked so hard to find balance. To not see food as good or bad, but as nourishment and enjoyment.
While my story is not the same as Andie's, there are similar threads. There were several points in the book where I thought, yes, absolutely yes. Her words were adequate and real as she tried to explain what it's like to be overweight, to be coping with food, to have a love/hate relationship with it, and the work it takes to overcome it.
Over the past few months, I have addressed my weight. Not in a hateful way, but in a way that is trying to find healing and a healthy balance. It is a process, you guys. A vulnerable process. I've made progress and found some success, but I'm still working on it and I'm trying to get my brain and emotions to follow the physical. March was a hard month for me emotionally. I felt battered and bruised due to some circumstances. My self-worth felt flimsy and I struggled against the lie of that. But here's where I feel victorious: I maintained my weight loss. I didn't gain. I weathered the storm and came out on the other side learning about myself. And yesterday I read Andie's book. I felt like someone understood and I felt like someone else had successfully won the battle. Not the battle of weight, but the war inside our own heads/hearts that leads to the weight.
If you're also battling your head/heart, whether you're overweight or trying desperately to hold onto skinny, I think this book is relative. Both are an issue inside our heads and both need to find a healthy relationship with food. If you're in a vulnerable place where any power of suggestion will cause you to overeat, then this might not be the book for you right now. She talks and describes food a lot (so much that I was getting tired of reading about it), so I can see how it could cause some people to binge. However, if you're not vulnerable to the power of suggestion, then I think this book will be helpful. Because as she travels Italy and finds a healthy enjoyment of food, the meals are encouraging and what I inspire to find. On one of my first visits with my wellness coach, we talked about goals. I told her I didn't want to fight with food anymore. I didn't want to feel like it was good or bad, but I wanted to have it be something I enjoyed. I love having meals with friends, I love sharing the company and conversation, I enjoy foods that make my palate happy. That's the part of my brain I want to be in charge. The part that seeks nourishment and connection. It's the numbing and guilt that I want to turn off. As I read Andie's dining experiences in Italy, I saw the relationship that I'm hoping to find. A joyful, full life being lived in balance.
There you have it. A bit of a book review and a bit of my story. While I might later on wonder if I should have posted this, I think it's good that I do. Why should any of us feel ashamed for taking steps toward a healthier life? Whether it's physically, mentally, or emotionally, we all deserve to live in truth and freedom. And for those of us working to get there, there doesn't need to be any shame about the past. We do what we need to do to survive. We cope how we can until we learn new ways. What matters is that we're searching for something better. We aren't allowing lies or guilt or shame or pain to hold us back. That's impressive. And brave. Celebrate that. You are strong.
