Progress

In January I started on a new adventure. The adventure of taking back my health. I started by changing my eating habits and saw some success. In February, I added walking to the mix. March wasn't great. My habits became a bit lax as I faced some stress, but I kept walking and didn't fully return to my bad eating. April. Oh, April. It has been hard. I don't mean the health stuff. I mean life. So. Very. Hard. March and April tried to beat me down And it was so hard. My sleep and sanity took a big hit. But here I am with April not yet over and I'm back to a better place. Still hard, but at least manageable. I have picked back up my eating habits, going from okay to healthy. I started walking more. I began journaling which I haven't done in a LONG time. Yesterday, I joined a gym so that I can start strength training.

What I have realized over the last week or so is how much I used food to numb my feelings. As I've had to face stress and big feelings, I felt so anxious because I'm not used to having to feel them all. I hid my hurt, fear, vulnerability in food. Some people drink or shop or have co-dependent relationships. I used food. I'm having to learn new coping techniques. But I'm also realizing how so many of those fears/feelings are unjustified. They seem like big scary monsters hiding under the bed until you turn on the light and realize it's just a dust bunny. Mental health is as important as physical health, so I'm addressing them together.

Yes, I'm generally a happy, optimistic person. I can only explain that my joy comes from God. I'm also a person that deals with anxiety. I don't like it, but it's the truth. I'm not going to pretend that everything is rainbows and sunshine. I think that does a disservice to everyone. We should be honest about life, not painting glossy pictures. We all have hard stuff we face. But I'm thankful I have a support system of wonderful people, a therapist, and a God that carries when whether I'm in a time of joy or anxiety. I am determined to keep moving forward to being a healthier person- mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.